Anger expressed

A mom talked to me the other day about her son who had been performing well enough that he was moved out of the kids who were not performing to a higher level class. He was upset about not being with his friends and the powerlessness he felt. In his anger he made a drawing that was filled with violence and blood. In essence it was a threat. He didn't want to see it that way, but there really wasn't any other way to look at it.

I suggested that she affirm her son's anger. It's okay to be angry. It's how we deal with it that provides us with consequences.

Years ago I got angry at something and threw a wooden spoon. It left a large hole in the screen in the kitchen window. Mosquitos found an entrance into the house. I had to fix it immediately. I HATE fixing screens. That was a great deterrent to throwing things in the future.

That he feels anger is understandable. Underneath the anger is hurt, frustration, and pain. It would be good for him to develop new ways of dealing with his anger. If he can find ways of expressing his anger that are socially acceptable he will have achieved a lot. It will be helpful in his future as well as much of life is dealing with what we didn't want or expect.